Foodies Who Cheat Gifts

Making healthy eating bearable.

baby sweetcorn...

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

Two lovers matched by their love of food

"It's probably just seasonal."

Show and Tell: 'These came from our orgasmic garden.'

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

"I'm thinking tonight we should try the new chicken and tuna."

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

"What?!"

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

'All the kings horses and all the king's men? No, I'm calling my cousin Louie, he owns a restaurant!'

'You have to realise that as a potato you are a very complex carbohydrate.'

"For my will I decided to cut out the middle man and bequeath all my money to the IRS."

'...tail of cat..tongue of toad and a good pinch of monosodium glutamate...'

'Medium well, please.'

'I've got the answers to the test written on my hands and arms. It's old school artificial intelligence.'

'When things are slow'

'What's happened to all this money?'

"I'm ready to play Hide and go Seek."

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

Wieners Sausages.

Let's do the continental.

'I need you to reassure the investors. Can you keep a straight face?'

'There's a simple explanation, dear. Someone stole my identity.'

Fast food

'One extra hot red chilli curry, $10. One super spicy vindaloo, $12.50. The look on your face when it comes out the other end... priceless.'

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

"Is our fish fresh? Sure it is! My dad is just delivering the latest catch..."

'No, Neville. I don't think anyone will ever open a burger bar around here. Now, finish your carrion!'

Will sneak through the woods and throw your ball back into the fairway.

"Why can't you just be happy for me that I'm going to Paris?"

"The homework here is delicious!"