Foodies Who Shop Gifts

"How much of this stuff can I eat before it can no longer be returned?"

baby sweetcorn...

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

Stuff: You Don't Really Need But Still Don't Have.

"It's probably just seasonal."

Two lovers matched by their love of food

Only One Item or Fewer.

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

Show and Tell: 'These came from our orgasmic garden.'

Auto parts, Lite Puff Pastries, & Health Insurance Exchange.

Woman uses an ATM with buttons for: Grocery, Leverage Buyout, Start Up Capital, Shop Till You Drop.

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

'Would it be cruelly ironic to shape our new cholesterol medication like little eggs?'

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

"I'm thinking tonight we should try the new chicken and tuna."

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

'I went to see a personal shopper this afternoon. . . I thought I'd surprise you!'

'All the kings horses and all the king's men? No, I'm calling my cousin Louie, he owns a restaurant!'

(Direct to the Consumer)

"I've been window-shopping..."

"What?!"

"I LOVE you more than old people love to pay for everything in exact change."

"Hibernation - here I come..!"

'You have to realise that as a potato you are a very complex carbohydrate.'

'Cool, a wheel. Now you can take me shopping.'

'...tail of cat..tongue of toad and a good pinch of monosodium glutamate...'

'Medium well, please.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: After a Fashion

'When things are slow'

'That's not the northern lights! It's new strip mall!'

Let's do the continental.

Wieners Sausages.