Foodie With Restraint Gifts

'If it tastes good, spit it out!'

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

'Ok. I'm cooking dinner. What sounds good?'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'Is it organic?'

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"Back inside, Bernie! The buffet is full of shrimp, pork and ham!"

"Hey, honey. Are we ona diet again?"

Cull people who think, because it's organic, they can sell produce that's past its best.

'Whatever fast food - fried stuff, fat, sugar, salt for the 'Doesn't Bother Me' person'.

'I think our marriage would make a great country song.'

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

Supermarket Aisles.

'Enlighten me!'

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

Skeleton staff. No food to be consumed on these premises.

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

'Do you have another menu of what I can have?'

"I asked for something gluten-free, dairy-free and meat-free and he brought me a glass of water."

'Sorry to keep you waiting.'

"Cream coloured ponies, crisp apple strudels, doorbells and sleighbells, schnitzel with noodles. . ."

"I'm one of those fortunate people that can ear what they like."

Guy begging for money holding his hat out. Next to him an out of work chef holding his frying pan out begging for money.

"Sorry, dear. I couldn't find a gluten or lactose-free sugarless non-GMO raw-vegan birthday cake..." "Tell me that's a nutless mulch muffin."

"Nope, I'll have to pass on lunch today!"

'... and don't watch the Food Channel.'