Foodie With A Limit Gifts

'I'm sorry, sir. You've had enough.'

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

Dieting Motivation.

'Ok. I'm cooking dinner. What sounds good?'

Fishing rod coming out of a health farm towards a hot dog stand.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

All You Can Eat Buffet: "Remember, my safe word is 'Diabetes.'"

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

I'll say one thing for that chef on TV...he really makes deboning a chicken look easy.

'Face it, 24 hour grocery stores were made for people like us.'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"Back inside, Bernie! The buffet is full of shrimp, pork and ham!"

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

'You can eat, but you must never again drink and be merry.'

'Enlighten me!'

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

Supermarket Aisles.

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

'Put the cheesecake and cappuccino on one bill and the health salad on another bill so I can show my wife that I'm watching my diet.'

'Please be careful, sir, the plate is hot.'

'What an uncanny coincidence! The starter, main course, dessert and wine you've ordered are all the cheapest on the menu!'

'Sorry to keep you waiting.'

'What's our offence? We've been on bread and water for 40 minutes.'

"I asked for something gluten-free, dairy-free and meat-free and he brought me a glass of water."

'Do you have another menu of what I can have?'

'I don't think it's so much my inability to lose weight as it is my ability to find it.'

"And remember, if you can't pronounce it, I can't afford it!"

"Sorry, dear. I couldn't find a gluten or lactose-free sugarless non-GMO raw-vegan birthday cake..." "Tell me that's a nutless mulch muffin."

What do you suggest for someone on a diet who wants to leave room for dessert?

'Push away from the food, good...'