Foodie Voyeur Gifts

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"Ooh, that looks delicious! Does it photograph well?"

GM Crops Genie.

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

"Something photogenic for each of us."

"Your chocolate biscuits and cakes are getting smaller - and where's your sweets aisle?"

Horse meat scandal.

'Coffee and Converstion' vs. 'Beer & Bullshit'

The big break in the case of the missing French Fries: 'But just to make sure, can you have each of them squawk.'

"I wonder how many Facebook likes I'll get."

"In this restaurant, quality control means I must approve every picture you take of the food."

"I am off duty, but the body cam allows me to discreetly take photos of my meal."

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

"Why don't we just take photos of other people's food and order whatever gets the most Facebook likes?"

"Is this from the community garden? It tastes sanctimonious."

"Just eat me, you intolerable pervert!"

Have you noticed how chefs have replaced hairdressers in the social pages?

Food Photography

"Sometimes, just to agitate them, I flash my jar on instant coffee."

Burgers - Available with: Ketchup, Mayo and Horse (Radish).

'Just as I suspected - cheating on our diet!'

"This gnocchi with sage butter looks nothing like my friend's Instagram photo."

"Please stop asking if everything's okay...you keep ruining the light for our pictures!"