Foodie In Fine Dining Conundrums T-Shirts

"Yes, I can certainly recommend the lamb - everything else has gone."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

Opening the Barrel

"Expense account or regular?"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"How's the salmon?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

this bordeaux speaks for itself

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

Wine taster with mineral water

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

"For drinks or dinner?"