Foodie In Fine Dining Conundrums Prints

"Yes, I can certainly recommend the lamb - everything else has gone."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"Expense account or regular?"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"Room for dessert, folks?"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"How's the salmon?"

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

Opening the Barrel

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

this bordeaux speaks for itself

"I know you've been waiting a long time, but the Pearls were here before you."

"This deserves an Instagram photo. Would you mind taking a picture of someone washing the dishes when I'm done?"

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

Wine taster with mineral water

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"...and the asparagus this evening is delightful. It's been simmering all day in the tears of the poor."

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'