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Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

Roasting the Moneybox

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

"I'm learning to appreciate the simple things in life."

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

Food prices.

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

'You shouldn't put all your cash into one stock... you need to diversify. Try buying beef, vegetable and chicken stock...'

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

'Stan, you can still pick up that food! Due to the economy, the five second rule had been modified to eight seconds.'

'Don't overdo the mustard, sir -- we're trying to control costs around here.'

"The crab Florentine is excellent, but the rack of lamb has limited downside risk.''

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

We'll pass on the entrees...

"Yes, Madam, I know they were 78 p last week, but have you seen the price of oil?"

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'What wine goes well with a limited expense account?'

'We also sell water for eighty dollars a glass.'

Pork bellies 3 times a day...cookbook for the commodities investor.

Valentine's day skinflint.