Foodie Fusspot Pillows

'Molly here would like your immediate apology for the substandard service and wilty lettuce on her BLT!'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Dinner at the Trapdoors

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Night of the Latkes

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Can I give you a slice of the action?

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

Kitchen Kapers

Important Food Groups

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Benihana style of cooking.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

The Streets - Night

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Burnt or Raw?

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Don't go out in the rain without an umbrella....was probably not 'his idea' of a tip, dear!'

"The chef recommends the tilapia. However, I really like the vodka."

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

Better Not Squash.

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"