Budget-conscious Foodie Pillows

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

"Because of what's been happening to food prices and our stocks, we will no longer throw away anything that resembles food..."

'These prices are making me feel sick, Dear!'

'Correct, $18.50 for your glass of Chablis, and $21.95 for the lady's glass of Merlot - good thing you ordered the house wines.'

Camper special! PORK 'N' BEANS...50 gallons...only $49.99...Limit: 3 per customer.

Paying for Food on Your Phone

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

AS about Today's Specials' - 'Whatever didn't sell yesterday.'

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

'We let our products speak for themselves. This is ‘I Can't Believe It's So Tasty And Price-Friendly In Today's Demanding Market.' '

'We're having leftovers again. Don't worry, I shaved off all the fuzzy parts. I'm going to knit you a sweater.'

Food Prices

"We use the cheapest ingredients and pass the savings on to you."

'I'm afraid we've reached the point where we have to cut out luxuries. How do you feel about food?'

"Well if bread's free, and gravy's free, how about bread and gravy?"

"I'm sorry, due to budget cuts we had to reduce kitchen staff."

Posh restaurant - 'We'll have the sandwiches.'

Pizza By The Slice

"I work twelve hours a day to make ends meat...but then I'm way too knackered to cook it!"

Please give! Buying organic food doesn't come cheap.

"It's become so expensive, that if I want sushi, I have to catch my own!"

'You've got to help me, Doc -- My Diner's Club card is maxed out!'

Thrift: Sew your mouth shut before going to a restaurant.

'What an uncanny coincidence! The starter, main course, dessert and wine you've ordered are all the cheapest on the menu!'

"Your meat is too expensive. Aren't you passing your 'free range' savings onto the customer?"

"And remember, if you can't pronounce it, I can't afford it!"

"Why did you tell them we are vegetarians?

Man walks by a cafe with a sign saying "Lunch buffet - All you can stomach $12.95"

'Considering the state of our finances, maybe you should order the hock.'

Which wine will go well with a limited expense account?

'With our low prices we can't afford a chef.'

'Today's specials - Good, Fair, Lousy.

"What's good tonight...under $5?"