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'When I said you should complain about your steak I didn't mean whining about it on twitter.'

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Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

Roasting the Moneybox

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"I'm learning to appreciate the simple things in life."

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"Okay then, what wine do you have if we go up to the four dollar range?"

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

"No one can afford to eat us anymore."

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

Checkout for $385.00 or more.

Food prices.

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

'You shouldn't put all your cash into one stock... you need to diversify. Try buying beef, vegetable and chicken stock...'

"... And how are you enjoying the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu?"

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

'Stan, you can still pick up that food! Due to the economy, the five second rule had been modified to eight seconds.'

'Don't overdo the mustard, sir -- we're trying to control costs around here.'

"The crab Florentine is excellent, but the rack of lamb has limited downside risk.''

"That's it - we've eaten the last of the energy bills."

'What do you mean when you say we're going to have to start economizing on groceries, Lance?'

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"Tell your chef I'd like something for a refined and cultured palate. For under ten bucks."

Produce Market. Sale. Ernie, I heard you call them "cheap dates" the first time.

"Yes, Madam, I know they were 78 p last week, but have you seen the price of oil?"

We'll pass on the entrees...

'What wine goes well with a limited expense account?'

'We also sell water for eighty dollars a glass.'

Pork bellies 3 times a day...cookbook for the commodities investor.