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Crops and Food Prices.

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Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'Today the Yuan rose against the pork belly, the chicken beak, the eel, the wanton, and the egg noodle.'

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

Win-win. Whenever I hear that from you, I want to hide under the counter. New research shows the only proven way to prolong life is caloric restriction. Eat less, live longer. Introducing our new breakfast meal plan: The Fountain of Youth. You get half a muffin and half a glass of water. Sounds meager. Exactly. That's why we're charging $16. But a full muffin only costs $4. And it won't prolong your life. Can you even put a price on immortality? How much should we charge for an empty plate of ai

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

Chicago School of Home Economics

'You shouldn't put all your cash into one stock... you need to diversify. Try buying beef, vegetable and chicken stock...'

'I'm all for GM food, it's done wonders for my profit margins!'

"I like the Businessman's Special. The fortune cookies all have stock futures in them."

Joe's Bar and Grill and Focus Group.

Cooking the books

"The crab Florentine is excellent, but the rack of lamb has limited downside risk.''

'Be patriotic. Food prices are rising. Eat less.'

"Wood-oven-toasted rosemary focaccia or traditional baguette?"

Pork bellies 3 times a day...cookbook for the commodities investor.

Food for thought vendor serves think tank employees.

Man reading fortune cookie: 'Hey, cool - it's an up-to-the-minute stock report.'

Speculators and Food Production

'We've had a cash machine put in.'

'Dad's teaching me about the all-you-can-eat buffet line and how to get the most out of each trip.'

"He's working out what he can buy when his pay rise comes through."

'For thirty years my mother served nothing but leftovers... The original meal was never found!'

'Mrs. Gersten, I'm taking you out of trans-fatty acid stocks, and putting you into fruits and veggies'

Bob devises the ultimate weight-loss system.

"He usually doesn't see anybody without an appointment, but since you brought pizza ..."

'You call yourself a full-service broker? Where are the danish and muffins?'

'Here's our strategy...for your last meal order all-you-can-eat and eat it VERY SLOWLY!'