Foodie Finance Wizard T-Shirts

"Their entrees went from a price point to an exclamation mark."

Build Your Own Portfolio

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

And so, Rudy unwittingly became an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. At first, he was furious having lost his weekly paycheck. But then it dawned on him: He was back in the dot-com game – for the first time in 20 years. He was practically a venture capitalist! I'm a social media investor. It's a multi-platform play with, obviously, huge mobile capability, global reach, soaring audience share. Revenue model? What? Huh? Beat it.

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

With all that Christmas baking left, that's a bad thing...(egg prices soar).

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

"I like the Businessman's Special. The fortune cookies all have stock futures in them."

'Your Starbucks, McDonald's, and Hershey Stocks all went down. That shows you should never buy on an empty stomach.'

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

'You shouldn't put all your cash into one stock... you need to diversify. Try buying beef, vegetable and chicken stock...'

Cooking the books

"The crab Florentine is excellent, but the rack of lamb has limited downside risk.''

Dinner at the Mortgage Restaurant.

Lunch Broker

Bank Roll

'That's $27.50, including the fuel surcharge, carbon tax, noise nuisance and environmental impact fee.'

'You say that you were a chef before retraining as an accountant?... That's good, we could use a bookkeeper who can cook.'

Pork bellies 3 times a day...cookbook for the commodities investor.

Man reading fortune cookie: 'Hey, cool - it's an up-to-the-minute stock report.'

"Your broker has 'comped' your meals."

'Dad's teaching me about the all-you-can-eat buffet line and how to get the most out of each trip.'

'We've had a cash machine put in.'

"He's working out what he can buy when his pay rise comes through."

'Tonight on the Gourmet Accountant - cooking the books.'

'Oh yes, the market may fall, but trust me, we always land on our feet.'

Bob devises the ultimate weight-loss system.

'Mrs. Gersten, I'm taking you out of trans-fatty acid stocks, and putting you into fruits and veggies'

"He usually doesn't see anybody without an appointment, but since you brought pizza ..."

'Here's our strategy...for your last meal order all-you-can-eat and eat it VERY SLOWLY!'