Foodie Finance Wizard Pillows

"Their entrees went from a price point to an exclamation mark."

Build Your Own Portfolio

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

"I like the Businessman's Special. The fortune cookies all have stock futures in them."

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

'You shouldn't put all your cash into one stock... you need to diversify. Try buying beef, vegetable and chicken stock...'

Cooking the books

"The crab Florentine is excellent, but the rack of lamb has limited downside risk.''

Lunch Broker

Dinner at the Mortgage Restaurant.

Bank Roll

'You say that you were a chef before retraining as an accountant?... That's good, we could use a bookkeeper who can cook.'

'That's $27.50, including the fuel surcharge, carbon tax, noise nuisance and environmental impact fee.'

Pork bellies 3 times a day...cookbook for the commodities investor.

'Dad's teaching me about the all-you-can-eat buffet line and how to get the most out of each trip.'

"Your broker has 'comped' your meals."

'We've had a cash machine put in.'

"He's working out what he can buy when his pay rise comes through."

Man reading fortune cookie: 'Hey, cool - it's an up-to-the-minute stock report.'

'Tonight on the Gourmet Accountant - cooking the books.'

'Oh yes, the market may fall, but trust me, we always land on our feet.'

'Mrs. Gersten, I'm taking you out of trans-fatty acid stocks, and putting you into fruits and veggies'

Bob devises the ultimate weight-loss system.

"He usually doesn't see anybody without an appointment, but since you brought pizza ..."

'Here's our strategy...for your last meal order all-you-can-eat and eat it VERY SLOWLY!'

'You call yourself a full-service broker? Where are the danish and muffins?'