Finance-minded Gourmet Pillows

Lunch Broker

Build Your Own Portfolio

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

'Today the Yuan rose against the pork belly, the chicken beak, the eel, the wanton, and the egg noodle.'

'You shouldn't put all your cash into one stock... you need to diversify. Try buying beef, vegetable and chicken stock...'

Chicago School of Home Economics

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

Salvador Deli

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

Cooking the books

"The crab Florentine is excellent, but the rack of lamb has limited downside risk.''

"I'm texting my compliments to the chef!"

"All the adventure is gone since the bred out all the Trichinosis."

Pork bellies 3 times a day...cookbook for the commodities investor.

"Well if bread's free, and gravy's free, how about bread and gravy?"

'So what's it to be, Indian cuisine, Chinese take out or are you going to do the usual Russian Roulette?'

'We've had a cash machine put in.'

"Your broker has 'comped' your meals."

Man reading fortune cookie: 'Hey, cool - it's an up-to-the-minute stock report.'

"He's working out what he can buy when his pay rise comes through."

'Mrs. Gersten, I'm taking you out of trans-fatty acid stocks, and putting you into fruits and veggies'

'You call yourself a full-service broker? Where are the danish and muffins?'

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

'Before we start, would anyone like any grated cheese on their quarterly report?'

'I thought you were supposed to spend green stuff.'

"It looks like you're the main stakeholder in this business."

To market.

Cooking the books al dente.

"I don't care if you're a food critic - you're not combing back in my restaurant wearing only a sash."