Finance-minded Gourmet Gifts

Lunch Broker

Build Your Own Portfolio

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

'Today the Yuan rose against the pork belly, the chicken beak, the eel, the wanton, and the egg noodle.'

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'

'You shouldn't put all your cash into one stock... you need to diversify. Try buying beef, vegetable and chicken stock...'

Salvador Deli

Chicago School of Home Economics

Cooking the books

"The crab Florentine is excellent, but the rack of lamb has limited downside risk.''

"I'm texting my compliments to the chef!"

"All the adventure is gone since the bred out all the Trichinosis."

Pork bellies 3 times a day...cookbook for the commodities investor.

'We've had a cash machine put in.'

'So what's it to be, Indian cuisine, Chinese take out or are you going to do the usual Russian Roulette?'

"He's working out what he can buy when his pay rise comes through."

"Your broker has 'comped' your meals."

Man reading fortune cookie: 'Hey, cool - it's an up-to-the-minute stock report.'

'Don't give up hope - Anthony Bourdain is bound to show up sooner or later.'

"Well if bread's free, and gravy's free, how about bread and gravy?"

'Mrs. Gersten, I'm taking you out of trans-fatty acid stocks, and putting you into fruits and veggies'

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

'I thought you were supposed to spend green stuff.'

'You call yourself a full-service broker? Where are the danish and muffins?'

'Before we start, would anyone like any grated cheese on their quarterly report?'

"It looks like you're the main stakeholder in this business."

"I don't care if you're a food critic - you're not combing back in my restaurant wearing only a sash."

Cooking the books al dente.