Foodie With A Flair For Finance Gifts

"Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged."

Build Your Own Portfolio

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"You got maybe one that smells like cheese blintzes frying?"

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

'Therapy?'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

"Two questions: What time are the guests arriving, and do you still want me to slice the pepperoni?"

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'I'm very impressed that you ordered the entire meal in French. Pity it's a Chinese restaurant...'

'My husband will order the wine. He happens to be a graduate of the 3-Second Master of Wine program.'

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

Cooking With Pollock.

'Are they fat free, low carb, high fibre and organic?'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"Excuse me but it's our food, can you make it sexy?"

'Monsieur, in this café you've got to dance your order.'

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

Beef Wellingtons

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"Now, what? I'm wearing a hair net."

"The butter-poached lobster with melted leeks and horseradish creme fraiche...you want that in a wrap?"