Foodie With A Financial Sense Of Humor Gifts

Lunch Broker

"How can you be out of wings?"

hard-boiled egg...

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

'The Burrito King.'

The British Territory of the South Sandwich Islands.

The Main Types of Cheese

'I think I'll go home and eat'

"Just because we're hyenas doesn't mean we always have to get Laughing Cow cheese."

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Banana Split Personality

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

"My diet plan for you is if it tastes good, spit it out."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

Diner

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken. It tastes like chicken.'

Only 1 calorie per serving: One million servings per can.

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

Beef stew 50c. (In a bowl - $1.75)

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

"He's fond of garlic, so his bark is much worse than his bite."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

Baloneystini

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.