Investment Gourmet Gifts

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"Your broker has 'comped' your meals."

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Too much cilantro

The Main Types of Cheese

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

French wine

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

To do before Saturday...

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

His Her Cakes

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"