Budget-conscious Gourmet Pillows

Which wine will go well with a limited expense account?

"Well if bread's free, and gravy's free, how about bread and gravy?"

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

Credit Crunch Corn Flakes.

Heimlich maneuver, Gastric bypass surgery, Liver transplant.

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

"It would be better with a protein, but add-ons are so expensive."

'Would you care for a drink while your food is being defrosted?'

AS about Today's Specials' - 'Whatever didn't sell yesterday.'

'Today the Yuan rose against the pork belly, the chicken beak, the eel, the wanton, and the egg noodle.'

Man eating his meal with his feet.

"What wine goes well with £5.52p?"

'Don't overdo the mustard, sir -- we're trying to control costs around here.'

"The portions here are so small, thank goodness there's a food bank around the corner."

Lunch Broker

"It's a new way to stretch leftovers. Saw it in Homeopathy Now."

Deep in the heart of the one-star restaurant district...'Guess what you're eating buffet!'

'I'm impressed at your choice sir, you certainly know your budget wines.'

'We're having leftovers again. Don't worry, I shaved off all the fuzzy parts. I'm going to knit you a sweater.'

'The 89's are very forward with meat on the nose and a lingering marrow-bone finish.'

Camper special! PORK 'N' BEANS...50 gallons...only $49.99...Limit: 3 per customer.

Posh restaurant - 'We'll have the sandwiches.'

'Sir, one waiter is enough to bring the meals, but it takes two to carry the bill.'

"I'm sorry, due to budget cuts we had to reduce kitchen staff."

'I'm afraid we've reached the point where we have to cut out luxuries. How do you feel about food?'

'The lower-priced items contain genetically-modified foods not yet approved for human use.'

Thrift: Sew your mouth shut before going to a restaurant.

'What's affordable tonight?'

'Letting you pick up the check will help you stay on your diet.'

"It's become so expensive, that if I want sushi, I have to catch my own!"

'It's half as good as our $10 special.'

'Sorry about dinner, honey...ever since your dad was laid off work we've been trying to figure out new ways to make dinner.'