Foodie Economists T-Shirts

Supermarket with different aisle of food separated by a shopper's income.

Build Your Own Portfolio

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

Surprise in the salad bowl

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

You'll be a manicotti soon enough, son - Just enjoy being a mostaccioli while it lasts.

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"Is it free-range?"

'Gentlemen-the sweets smell of success!'

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'They ought to change the name of this deli to The Cramer - they get it wrong 50 of the time.'

Win-win. Whenever I hear that from you, I want to hide under the counter. New research shows the only proven way to prolong life is caloric restriction. Eat less, live longer. Introducing our new breakfast meal plan: The Fountain of Youth. You get half a muffin and half a glass of water. Sounds meager. Exactly. That's why we're charging $16. But a full muffin only costs $4. And it won't prolong your life. Can you even put a price on immortality? How much should we charge for an empty plate of ai

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

O'Malley's Pub. Special: Cloned Beef and Cabbage. Is nothing sacred anymore?

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

"It's dangerous to eat pangolins, but..."

'Today the Yuan rose against the pork belly, the chicken beak, the eel, the wanton, and the egg noodle.'

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

Adam and Eve - Food scares

"The gods are distributing Chinese menus."

"Yes, I know that chocolate comes from the cocoa Bean...but that does NOT count as a vegetable!"

A Double-Dip Recession with Sprinkles

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

"I knew a breakfast meeting would be a mistake."

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

'We've had a couple of requests for an academic brouhaha, so we'll be preparing one of those today.'

What came first, the chicken or the egg

'And just how much is silver going for a troy ounce these days?'