Foodie Thinkers T-Shirts

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

Surprise in the salad bowl

"Carpe pizza"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"Is it free-range?"

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

The Politics of Food.

"They have oat fiber, wheat fiber, and rice fiber, but no moral fiber."

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

"First you make a roux."

'School of nutrition - as of today: Butter, good...'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'Ah, Garbanzo, truly you are a noble bean.'