Foodie Philosophers T-Shirts

'I envy your metabolism.'

'Not authentic, organic & local, again.'

'So why do you think the first person to ever eat liver ate it?'

"I'm back. I couldn't make it as a New York slice."

"Someday we'll look back at this as the golden age of childhood obesity."

'If we had eaten at home,we would have saved $48.75 and we wouldn't have had to sit on the floor!'

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

'Working from home I've found the most hazardous machine to be the refrigerator.'

The age old dilemma: fry it or diet?

'I started to eat the beef, then suddenly the karma attacked me!'

'A tofu pizza? -- Divorce granted!'

"We ask that you help us to appreciate our old traditions...to respect our heritage...and to preserve civilized life on this Earth as we know it. Amen."

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

'If I order pasta and she orders antipasta, did we really order anything?'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Surprise in the salad bowl

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

"What does the time traveler do when he's hungry? Go back four seconds."

"Carpe pizza"