Foodie Fauna Gifts

'I can taste the soybeans, protein pellets, rice, bran, corn and oats. It could use a little more salt.'

Counting ribs

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Benihana style of cooking.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Kitchen Kapers

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"You keep impeccable time."

Important Food Groups

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

The Streets - Night

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

Burnt or Raw?

Would you be willing to sign something regarding the fat content of your burger? Like what? My colon.

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

Menu: Wet food. Dry food

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

Will work for Food Network.

A convenient attack of swine flu...

"More croutons, sir?"

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

'I'd like the tongue, please.'