Foodie Fiend Gifts

Too many cooks also spoil the movie.

Fridge Pirate

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

Counting ribs

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

What the Doctor Ordered

"You do like octopus?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Fast food. Even faster food

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

La Table

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.