Fauna Foodie Gifts

"Come on, smile, it's for our food blog..."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

'I've got it written down...'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

"Today's special is puréed sweet potato on cracker."

Bedside Manna.

"I don't care what Siri said. Wheaty Puffs are good for you, so eat them up."

Too many cooks also spoil the movie.

"I can never remember, how much do we tip?"

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

"For what you are about to receive..."

"Every time my wife has an accident in the kitchen, I end up eating it. . ."

"Finish your anchovies and then you can evolve."

'These are my dieting glasses. They magnify the food so I think I'm eating more than I really am.'

The Chef's dumplings were his speciality.

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

Party Animal, Party Vegetable, Party Mineral

"Oh, for God's sake, Harold, please close your mouth when you chew your food! This is a fancy restaurant."

"Combination No. 5--no MSG."

"All our water is locally sourced. From a little something we call 'the kitchen faucet'."

Welcome at the Healthful Restaurant. We allow neither cholesterol, GM food, colourings, dust nor guests.

'Fancy a take-away?'

"In my view, management overrates the motivational appeal of mackerel."

What's For Dessert

Here's your 18-inch pipin' hot pepperoni. I will devour. Wait, give it just a minute. Must … hold … on. Roof-of-mouth burn. Another hot-pizza-related injury. Dear reader, We spare you the carnage.

'This placenta's not very filling, I think I'll nip out for a pizza.'

"I'll have the business prodigy's lunch."

'What have you got today?' - 'If you don't smell it, we haven't got it.'

"Mmm, a stinky cheese sandwich!"