Foodie Fauna T-Shirts

'I can taste the soybeans, protein pellets, rice, bran, corn and oats. It could use a little more salt.'

Counting ribs

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Self Service Restaurant: 'Where do you keep the eggs?'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Important Food Groups

Benihana style of cooking.

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"You keep impeccable time."

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Kitchen Kapers

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

The Streets - Night

Burnt or Raw?

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

Menu: Wet food. Dry food

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

North Fork, the town too tough to diet.

"As you can guess, Rico is my role model."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

Will work for Food Network.

A convenient attack of swine flu...

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

"More croutons, sir?"