Food Standards Fan Pillows

'The regulations don't allow half milk half water...but you're OK with 51%-49%.'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'Bunfight at the O.K corral.'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Mitch Lee, kung-fondue master.

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'Is it organic?'

"Maybe the pie chart should have been refrigerated."

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

'I wasn't going to eat him, but then he tripped right in front of me.'

This must be the address where Joe and Maureen are throwing the dinner party!

"Welcome to the Bermudez family Christmas party!"

"Dad, that's horrible! I'm not trying to roast them: I'm studying them for a school project. . ."

'If I had to kill to survive I'd become a vegetarian.'

The Cud Food Guide

'MILK FIGHT!'

'He has been asked to review a new dog treat ... '

'Couldn't Jack Spratt eat polyunsaturated fat?'

'The food inspector, Sir!'

Pelican with wheels on it's beak.

"Skunk! How is it?"

Warming hands over soup.

Cull people who think, because it's organic, they can sell produce that's past its best.

'You're fried!'

101 Placenta Recipes

Yesterday of Minnesota.

"What do you mean 'What's for lunch'? You're a bee eater!"

"A Mister 'Ty Gurr' wants to reserve a table next to our fattest customer."

G8 ministers agonise over food decisions.

Food Fight At The O.K. Buffet.

'The good news is we can still get abortions.'

'Oh, oh, Mom's on a rampage again!'