Food Safety Fans Pillows

F&E Diner. The TSA agent turned health inspector didn't find any violations. Our soup is on the "no-fly" list.

"Well, the meal was vegan until the prep-cook cut his finger julienning the carrots."

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

"Please don't kill me."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

"Maybe the pie chart should have been refrigerated."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'

Scarecrow jumps out of a birthday cake and then catches on fire.

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

Food inspection results

'I wasn't going to eat him, but then he tripped right in front of me.'

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

'If I had to kill to survive I'd become a vegetarian.'

"It's only the Ericksons, so why don't you just use the recalled hamburger meat."

"There's a free pudding for whoever finds the Chef's glass eye."

"Dad, that's horrible! I'm not trying to roast them: I'm studying them for a school project. . ."

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

"We might be in trouble – the environment people have cited us as a hazardous waste site."

'They're doing their tests now?

'My wife's idea of the four basic food groups is canned, frozen, freeze-dried and carry-out.'

"I just finished my on-line food safety course!"

'You want the chili? - Have you had all your shots?'

It's 'safety first' for Gary the goat.

Food Uncertainty

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

Pelican with wheels on it's beak.

"Here comes your tomato surprise, sir!"

"Skunk! How is it?"