Foodie With Standards Pillows

Eww, no way, mom! Do you know what's in those things?

'Is it organic?'

'The only reason we're letting you in was because you ate right.'

Cull people who think, because it's organic, they can sell produce that's past its best.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

How about going easy on the carbs

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

Advocado

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

'Perhaps sir would like the dessert menu?'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Flying sauces.