Foodie For Rules Pillows

Skeleton staff. No food to be consumed on these premises.

'Waiter! -- there's a candidate in my soup!'

'Is it organic?'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

Uh

An everything bagel? You call this an everything bagel?

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

'Waiter, I don't remember ordering this gristle!'

'Are you sure this is a good restaurant, Frank?'

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

"Your dish will be out just as soon as it clears legal."

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

"Back inside, Bernie! The buffet is full of shrimp, pork and ham!"

Cull people who think, because it's organic, they can sell produce that's past its best.

"I'm not quite ready to order. My lawyers are still studying the menu."

"The Attorney's Lunch—may I hear the warranty again?"

'Whatever fast food - fried stuff, fat, sugar, salt for the 'Doesn't Bother Me' person'.

U.S. Bread Basket.

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."

"...and here's some I made earlier..."

State Fair. Fun. You won a ribbon in the eating contest? What for? Honorable munchin'!

Obama Snack...

"All our ingredients are ethically sourced, so feel free to leave the sh*ttiest tip you can possibly imagine."

"If only the aftertaste came first."

'I found a loophole in my diet rules.'

So su me.

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

"The jelly required a soupçon more texture on the custard was on the wrong side of sweet."

In the Steinberg fridge, this romance just wasn't meant to be.

'Do you have another menu of what I can have?'

"I asked for something gluten-free, dairy-free and meat-free and he brought me a glass of water."

EU: Legal Labelling Requirements for Meat!

'...Forbidden foods are only allowed when cheating...'

"Judge Edelman is taking the chicken livers under advisement, Gertrude; I've decided in favor of the veal; and Judge Hefferman seems to be recusing himself."

I don't think your heart's in the hospitality game.