Foodie With High Standards Pillows

'This food is revolting. And such small portions.'

I don't think your heart's in the hospitality game.

'I think I'll just leave a hate tip,'

"The jelly required a soupçon more texture on the custard was on the wrong side of sweet."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Domestic Goddess.

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"That's it. We’re toast."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

How about going easy on the carbs

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Advocado

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

Flying sauces.

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."