Foodie With Taste Pillows

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"That's it. We’re toast."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

How about going easy on the carbs

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

Advocado

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Flying sauces.

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"