Foodie With Attitude Pillows

"I'm sorry, have you been grimacing long?"

"Tuna on rye, hold the smile."

"It's your tip to lose."

'The chef apparently doesn't know how to accept a compliment.'

"Never mind - we waited so long that we ordered pizza from the place across the street."

"There, dammit. Is that enough pepper for you??"

"How can you be out of wings?"

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"If you're tired of stegosaur, go kill something else."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

hard-boiled egg...

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'I've already been recruited by one of the top fast-food chains in the country!'

"The spoon, he ran away with the goddam spoon."

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

How about going easy on the carbs

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

Advocado

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.