Food Chain Fan Pillows

'I'll have the Wildebeest.'

"A Mister 'Ty Gurr' wants to reserve a table next to our fattest customer."

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

Sweet Corn Revenge.

'If I had to kill to survive I'd become a vegetarian.'

Pelican with wheels on it's beak.

I know it says 'All you can eat', but that only applies to what's on the menu!

'Good gracious, no, nothing for me. I'll just scavenge after my friends have left the table.'

'I wasn't going to eat him, but then he tripped right in front of me.'

Cycle of Death and Life.

"Skunk! How is it?"

"No, we don't need a menu. Would you happen to have a floor plan?"

"Well, it's about time. I was just about to send out for pizza!"

"What do you mean 'What's for lunch'? You're a bee eater!"

"Dad, that's horrible! I'm not trying to roast them: I'm studying them for a school project. . ."

Freshest ice cream in town!

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."

'Yes, I am impressed at how fast you got here, but where's my pizza?'

'How can he be depressed when all he eats are Happy Meals?'

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

The miracle of 2-for-1 pizza.

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

'The two-pounds-burger menu includes chips, a large drink and an arteriosclerosis treatment.'

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

Now all meals contain 'Enzymate' for fast digestion.'

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Sisyphus Pizza

Sushi Train Spotters

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

Supermarket Aisles: 'Good for the Environment' and 'Couldn't give a flying F@$#! about the environment!'