Food Safety Seeker Pillows

"I have no idea what gluten is, either, but I'm avoiding it, just to be safe."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Your lobster was off!

Kitchen Kapers

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Honest Vending

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Please don't kill me."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

'Don't worry it's organic...'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

"The penicillin looks good."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

"I'm going in."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

Frankenfish

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'