Food Safety Seeker Pillows

"I have no idea what gluten is, either, but I'm avoiding it, just to be safe."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Honest Vending

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Your lobster was off!

Kitchen Kapers

HELLth Food Sprouts

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

"Please don't kill me."

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

'I had no idea would be a choice.'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

Bottled water straight from the Potomac, Congo and Ganges. Bottled waters that never had much market share.

'Don't worry it's organic...'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"I'd hold off on the peking duck another five minutes...the show's almost over."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"I'm going in."

"There's a big green giant at the door!"

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"Our vegan dishes are the same as what cows eat: Nitrates, Pesticides, Ammonia, Antibiotics..."

"The penicillin looks good."

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Frankenfish

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'