Food Safety Satirist Pillows

'Table cloth is filthy.' 'We've been open since 1976.'

'The Environment Health Officer thinks a SAFER menu would be 'Beans on Toast', 'Beans without Toast', 'Toast with Beans' and plain beans...'

Honest Vending

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"Two vegans, please."

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

"Please don't kill me."

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

Chef copy robot

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Safety Barriers

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

Fire door.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

A genetically-modified,hydroponically-grown tomato conducts a taste-test of its own.

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

Food inspection results

"We upped the protein by simply factoring in the permissible level of insect parts."

"What do you recommend today?"

At first, Moses was worried about the manna from heaven.

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'