Following Entertainment Industry Gifts

Gossip columns: 'And rumour has it that singer, Kelli B is said to be in shock after finding out longtime boyfriend, actor Todd Korfull, has been having an affair with, now get this, KELLI'S agent!! YEEOUCH!...' A column talking

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"It's a play on words."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

"Of course I'm dressed like a cheap w***e! It's Halloween! Duhh!"

"Mum, I got the job!"

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

Sid Sinatra.

Derek and Clive (Dudley Moore and Peter Cook).

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

The Quack Quack Diaries: The Decline And Fall Of Wolfman Quack

Atomic Bear: Part 26

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

'Therapy in L.A.'

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

'The Final Merger'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

Actors getting married. 'Best supporting man'

Time for today's dose of emotional manipulation...

Pop star weather report.

Still hemorrhaging; NBC cancels "The Cheeseheads"

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

'And who are you wearing?'

Trump commissions song

"So I play this guy named Stan Snorkel who finds a big, gray poodle..."

Note to self: Call lawyer, ask if he has any experience with charges of treason. What's lawyer got to do … got to do with it … What? What are you doing? Tina Turner. My second favorite singer, after Clay Aiken. She's amazing. I investigated every single one of her concerts. Good times. Wanna see my Tina Turner tattoo? I'm not a Russian spy!! What is this, 1985?! Good year. Tina was in "Mad Max" that year.