Follicle Fixer Pillows

'I noticed that hair thickener you bought is beginning to work!'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

"Be creative...!"

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

Waiting for Pants

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'Of course we can fix your sweater but we'll have to contact the sheep to match the wool!'

'I told him over and over again never to press 'delete' more than twice!'

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

"I bit someone once, but It was just to establish credibility."

Handy-lion

'Bob will be with you in a moment. He's cleaning the filter to the wine-aroma-judging-device attached to his face.'

It's too hard to clean my closet. Take out everything. Throw them into "keep", "donate" or "toss" boxes. Ok. Done!

Toupee in a tin.

'Yes, I've removed lots of fish-hooks from dogs...'

Male Mid-Life Myth--The Hair Fairy

"Dad, I'll assemble yours if you assemble mine."

'They can be a real menace at this time of year.'

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

'I don't think much of your work experience scheme Eric!'

"Tell Santa that Rudolph's check engine light is on."

"That's not the real me."

'This injection is a combination of 16 drugs...

'Maybe you could get dressed faster if you lost that speed bump around your waist.'

'I'm prescribing Rogaine for your head and Roloss for your back.'

'My neighbor hates to fix fence...'

"Darling - I can't seem to find the invisible menders..."

The first sign of cowboy trouble.

"That's really great , but what do you do if you want to remove the nail?"

"Just take a little off the top!"

"Not too much off the top, Floyd!"

'I think of my 'bald-patch' as a solar panel for a sex-machine!'

Stitches.