Follicle Fixer-upper Pillows

'I'm prescribing Rogaine for your head and Roloss for your back.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"Be creative...!"

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

The Upholstery Consultant

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

Well paid job

Toupee in a tin.

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

"Here's a video showing how to fix a toilet. It shows a guy calling a plumber."

Chainsaw and Chair

"Do you want to try and put the air conditioner in together or stay married?"

"The combover works even less now that you're using your back hair."