Follicle Fixer-upper Pillows

'I'm prescribing Rogaine for your head and Roloss for your back.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"Be creative...!"

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

Not you. Your hair.

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

The Upholstery Consultant

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

'He wants some hair restorer for his birthday.'

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

'Not only did I fix the leak, but when you run the hot water it plays 'Harlem Nocturne'.'

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

Well paid job

Toupee in a tin.

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

"Is it really necessary to shout 'Nailed it!' every time you hammer a nail?"

"Here's a video showing how to fix a toilet. It shows a guy calling a plumber."

"The combover works even less now that you're using your back hair."

'What did I tell you about buying a flatpack wardrobe!'

"Do you want to try and put the air conditioner in together or stay married?"