Focus Group Moderator Gifts

"Essentially people find cat's cuter"

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"It helps me stay focused."

"So we all love Cuddly Poo, but to cover ourselves, better run it by day care."

"I had the stitches out last week. I just find that it helps me stay focused."

"When did tweeting become such an angry thing?"

"Isn't it time to forget the cat and start belling the violence?"

Who will be the next CNN analyst?

"We've checked, and it's fine with women."

'This is the way to do it.'

'Is this where they're conducting the focus group?'

"Isn't it great? I found little 'Classroom Mode' switches behind their ears."

Focus Group: "Better or worse? How about now? Better or worse?"

"That's the danger of mono tasking...you're too easily held accountable."

'Care in the Online Community.'

"You know, during these debates there's something that all too often gets ignored."

"Of course we employ the disabled. Halve the staff here are not able to get to work on time, the rest are not able to focus on the job."

The focus group thinks it's time you got rid of the beard.

"Now that we're down to three candidates, we're switching to a 'rock, paper, scissors' format."

Truth

Republican Cone of Silence

"You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today."

Gun Crazy

Every day Fred had to make sure he was properly prepared for his job as a social media moderator.

"That would be in Aisle Six, the worried-well section."

You'd be surprised at the number of disruptive participants we get at these focus groups.

"Now, Og...what did we agree on about passing the talking stick?"

'Thanks to the internet, you can meet creeds worldwide.'

'Left wing, right wing - I wish they'd remember they're on the same bird.'

"Excellent! We've finally answered the question 'What is a woman?' Now let's move on to item 2: 'What is a Lady?'"

A support group for crayons nobody ever uses.