Flying Trapeze Gifts

"His wife caught him with another woman and clipped his wings."

Airlines

"First class, or with children?"

'What zip code are we in now?'

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"Here we are."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Fight or Flight

Airport Security.

Boptimism

Pilot with champagne.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

"Recalculating route..."

Cat chases mouse across a Zeppelin.

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

Alien Assumption

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'I'm on my way!'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Airplane Mode.

Superman flies Batman over a suburban neighborhood.

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

Boy pilot.

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."