Flying Trapeze Pillows

"His wife caught him with another woman and clipped his wings."

'What zip code are we in now?'

"First class, or with children?"

Airlines

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

"Here we are."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Fighter Jet Sneeze

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Airport Security.

Fight or Flight

Boptimism

Pilot with champagne.

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

Alien Assumption

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

"Recalculating route..."

'We will be 3 minutes late taking off. . . the pilot has to piddle.'

Cat chases mouse across a Zeppelin.

'Thank you for flying Canine Airlines. You can now sit on the furniture.'

'I'm on my way!'

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Boy pilot.

Superman flies Batman over a suburban neighborhood.

Airplane Mode.

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'At this time, we would like to call those passengers who feel compelled to board before their row numbers are announced.'