Flyer Aficionado Gifts

You Know You're Old When...

The World Wide Web.

'I'm on my way!'

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

The Games Man: He spends many hours studying minute aquatic flies...which his trout very rarely eat.

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

Emotional Support Pest

'Food fight!'

'It is so nice to be able to take a break mid trip...'

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

"How's my tripping you up?"

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

'I take it you've never used an air taxi before.'

'He's trying to figure out why airplanes get bigger while seats get smaller.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but there is a 25 surcharge to use the lavatory,'

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

Homing pigeons in therapy.

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

Basic economy

"Orange juice, 1/2 lb. bacon, dozen eggs, bread, coffee..."

On the monitors behind the check-in desk: Arrivals/Departures/Donations

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

Excess Baggage: Meanwhile, back at baggage handlers university...

Fly Club Singer: 'Wherever I Lay My Eggs, That's My Home...'

"Student driver"

'Oh great, we teach him to fly and now he tries to show us up!'

"Be careful - we've seen an alarming increase in the number of plane strikes."

A drone laying an egg

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'