Flyer Enthusiasts Gifts

'Please take this flyer.'

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"Recalculating route..."

Birds Following Witch.

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

Royal Bear Force - "Honey at 10 o'clock."

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

Emotional Support Pest

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I... I..."

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

'It is so nice to be able to take a break mid trip...'

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

'Steady,...not yet,...hold your positions.'

Homing pigeons in therapy.

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

Basic economy

You Know You're Old When...

'J.B. Potts, Head of Research, Aerodynamics...'

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

"Orange juice, 1/2 lb. bacon, dozen eggs, bread, coffee..."

'Funny thing is, in an infinite universe with infinite possibilities, this is actually happening!'

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

Shelton takes an ill-fated flight on his plug-in heli-pack.

'Oh great, we teach him to fly and now he tries to show us up!'

Migrating Cuckoo Clock

'Now boarding all passengers in the middle class.'

Nut Bomber

'Today we're going to simulate rough weather conditions.'