Flyer Aficionados Gifts

'Waiter, there's a frequent flyer in my soup.'

"Recalculating route..."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

'It is so nice to be able to take a break mid trip...'

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

Basic economy

Homing pigeons in therapy.

You Know You're Old When...

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

"Orange juice, 1/2 lb. bacon, dozen eggs, bread, coffee..."

'Funny thing is, in an infinite universe with infinite possibilities, this is actually happening!'

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

'Oh great, we teach him to fly and now he tries to show us up!'

Nut Bomber

'Your you is unzipped.'

'Does N.A.S.A. give frequent flyer miles?'

Elite-Premium Passengers

'Your honor, my client requests the maximum bail possible so that he can post it with his frequent-flier credit card.'

'Well, we just became unspectacular.'

Man on a flying machine amongst a flock of birds.

"This is your captain speaking. I'm delighted to announce that all you frequent flyers members on board today will earn five credits at the college of your choice."

Frequent Flier Tom Walstrom, on his way to Seattle, passes his luggage on it's way to L.A.

"So that's what this is all about? Frequent Flyer Miles?"

'I'm a frequent flier, so it's really quite cheap.'

'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'

Customer to airline clerk: 'If I drop leaflets out the plane window, do I get frequent flyer miles?'

"And here we have a very rare and unusual piece titled 'The Last Remaining Open Seat.'"

Paper aeroplane flying in front of an aeroplane.

'Joe, could I have your frequent flier points?'

Painter Achieves A Few Seconds Of Flight As Ladder Falls

'Oh no! It's the flying gardener.'