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You Know You're Old When...

The World Wide Web.

'I'm on my way!'

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

The Games Man: He spends many hours studying minute aquatic flies...which his trout very rarely eat.

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

Emotional Support Pest

"This meal tastes just like dog crap!"

"How's my tripping you up?"

'It is so nice to be able to take a break mid trip...'

'Food fight!'

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

'He's trying to figure out why airplanes get bigger while seats get smaller.'

'I take it you've never used an air taxi before.'

'There he goes over the bag limit again!'

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

Basic economy

"Orange juice, 1/2 lb. bacon, dozen eggs, bread, coffee..."

On the monitors behind the check-in desk: Arrivals/Departures/Donations

A drone laying an egg

Fly Club Singer: 'Wherever I Lay My Eggs, That's My Home...'

"Be careful - we've seen an alarming increase in the number of plane strikes."

'Oh great, we teach him to fly and now he tries to show us up!'

Excess Baggage: Meanwhile, back at baggage handlers university...

'Hey, can I have your frequent flier points?'

'One small step for man. Hundreds of thousands of miles for my frequent flier program.'

"Student driver"

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

'Would yo like reading or non-reading?'