Fly Chuckler Pillows

If this works, our entertainment worries are long gone!

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

'Still no Christmas card from the Pope? - We did send HIM once, didn't we?'

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

Keyboard in Heaven

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

'Those new airport scanners can see through clothes!'

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

"It's weeder's elbow."

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

'You know you haven't been good, and I know you haven't been good, but good, nevertheless, is your public stance.'

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'It's too LATE to show remorse!'

"On this diet, you can eat all you want of anything you can grow."

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

'Bless you!'

"Still fat."

"It's Billy Graham ... he doesn't want to stop preaching!"

Pluto Named Dwarf Planet

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

"I'm installing a backup camera. I'm tired of you sending me out to repair all the chimneys you back into."