Chicken Chuckler Pillows

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

"Sorry for the confusion, but it's Poetry Night, not Poultry Night."

'What do you mean, stuff the chicken? It wasn't empty.'

Man, bike, chicken, crossing the road.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

World of Cow.

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

Way too much anthropomorphising

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'For him, all food is fast food.'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Read my lips!"

'It's bad news I'm afraid,we're asprins'

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

'Bless you!'

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

If this works, our entertainment worries are long gone!

"What's for dinner, Madge? I'll be home soon."

"I keep getting into a flap."

You'll have to rewrite this. I can't read your hen scratching!

Yoga - moooooooo.

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

Merry Christmas