Chicken Chuckler Pillows

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

"Sorry for the confusion, but it's Poetry Night, not Poultry Night."

'What do you mean, stuff the chicken? It wasn't empty.'

Man, bike, chicken, crossing the road.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"You look ridiculous Ed. Why can't you just accept you're going bald and ditch the wig?"

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

World of Cow.

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

Way too much anthropomorphising

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'For him, all food is fast food.'

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

"Read my lips!"

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

'Does the suicide clause apply if he eats himself to death?'

'Bless you!'

If this works, our entertainment worries are long gone!

"What's for dinner, Madge? I'll be home soon."

You'll have to rewrite this. I can't read your hen scratching!

"I keep getting into a flap."

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

Merry Christmas

"The farmer has increased my duties: I now need to cock-a-doodle-doo at sunrise, morning tea, lunchtime, afternoon tea, dinner and sunset..."

'This corn tastes funny. I heard they're leaving out the antibiotics.'

'I don't know why but these guys are fascinated with me...'