Floor Maintenance Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Wipe all your feet!'

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

Three different categories of lawnmower.

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

'Yes, Jeb, they do resemble the cow's symptoms...'

When did you last have your oil changed?

"To heck with a husband... just help me find a dependable electrician."

Sunday morning provides a time to contemplate the state of our souls. Or soles, as the case may be.

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

Santa hosing the Chimney.

"We're thinking Shag Carpet. I'm tired of hardwood floors."

'That was some varnish remover!'

That adds life! Before we installed the carpet, I looked down and saw nothing except a blank stair!

'I said shag carpeting.'

'I won't bother you, Mr. Gridley... I just wanted to see how it would feel to walk barefoot on your plush carpeting...'

'I am sorry about this vicar, but my wife has just had new carpets fitted.'

Fissure waxing - Department of Seismology.

"We had an expert restore all the original shag carpeting."

'Hello, high gloss floor wax - I'd like customer service. Yeah - I would like to report a problem!'

'I don't know how I got rid of mildew before Henry got me the flamethrower.'

'I retired from work but housework has not retired from me.'

Man sees door sign at Podiatrist's office: 'This Little Piggy Went to Market'.

"Well I've done the floor! Only two days hard graft, but I thought you said the apartment had a sea view..."

Reptiles lizards in the form of tiles basking in the sun.

A robot standing in a bathroom with a hand mirror in his hand inserting new batteries into the back of his head.

Office carpets,putting green type.

The corporate merger of Plushy's Carpeting and Sticky's Velcro was not a success.

'Carpets' 'Try before you buy'

The maintaining different types of fence.

'You've got to give her points for originality.'